First time for everything...

So here it goes! I have no idea how I got the idea to start blogging...and I really never thought that I would. Maybe it is because at times when I talk to people- I cannot think of what to say, and then I go back and think- "Man! I should have said that!" I know that everyone does that but it gets me when someone asks me a question about my faith or church or anything else close to me that kind of catches me off guard. I say what comes to me at the time and then I'll think later- i wish i would have said this or that. I am a very social person. I love meeting new people and visiting for hours. I talk to my close friends and my fiance Aaron about the "deep" issues but sometimes I just feel like I have all these bottled up feelings or opinions that I just need to get out! So i felt like this could be a good avenue for that. So Disclaimer- if you read this and I in some way offend you- I'm sorry, lol That is not my intention- just being real.

ANYWAY,
Where to start with me? Well I am 24 years old and am in graduate school studying to be a speech-language pathologist. I absolutely love it and feel like I was made to do it. Of course I never thought that's where my life would take me- I didn't even know what a Speech-language pathologist was but before that- I guess i'll try to give my life story as quickly as possible. I was born in Wichita Falls, Texas. I have two brothers, one older and one younger. I grew up in Norman (BOOMER SOONER). My parents got divorced when I was young and we moved a few times. My biological father died when I was 12 and that was pretty rough- but I feel like that's a whole other story- maybe another day. I graduated high school in 2006 and after that went to OCCC just to get my basics because it was a heck of a lot cheaper than anywhere else. I kind of farted around a long time not really knowing what I wanted to do. I tried business.... definitely not for me. I knew I always wanted to help people so I went with psychology. I took lots of classes in psych and always found it interesting. As I talked with a supervisor about continuing on with psych, I realized that i didn't want to do that. One thing about me is that I get really attached to people and animals. A friend of mine made fun of me one time because I got attached to a fish and was really sad when it died. I just love things okay! Anyway- I felt like if i was a therapist that I would take people's problems home with me. Now thinking about it, I feel like a lot of those problems can only be put in God's hands. So I started looking for new avenues. I prayed for months and months, asking God to lead me somewhere- to reveal to me what I should be doing and what i would be good at. That's when USAO came into my life. It all kind of happened so fast. I went out to meet with the director of the clinic and speech path program there and I enrolled the next week.  I fell in love with the field, and graduated with a 4.0. I now attend UCO and have one more year.. which is absolutely nuts to me because i feel like I just started! If you would have told me a few years ago that i would have an associates, bachelor's, and going for a master's, i would have said you're crazy. I am the first person in my immediate family to go to college so I am pretty proud for all the things i have accomplished thus far.

My real inspiration to start this blog came from the Lord. I  have always read other people's blogs and find it so interesting to see their point of view on things and to learn so much about them. I feel like blogs are so personal and you get the real view of a person. Well, I have thought to start blogging about my walk with God. I have always believed in God and have felt that I am a good person. . I started going to church with my best friend when I was really little because my family never went to church. I went to this same church over the years, went to church camp, and all other kinds of church functions. One summer, I went to church camp and almost died. It's kind of funny in retrospect the story but was pretty scary at the time. A girl from my church and I had decided to go swimming. My mom always called me a "water dog" because I loved it so of course i wanted to go swimming. This girl and I get to the pool and I said, "I'm going to go jump off the diving board" and she was kind of weird about it. She said okay i'll go too. I asked her if she could swim and she said "yeah, I can swim under water." So i get up, go and jump off the board and swim to the ladder to get out. She goes up there, jumps, and then starts to struggle. My plan was to hold on to the ladder, reach for her hand, and pull her to the side. Well, when i tried to do that, she pulled me out to her in the middle of the deep end of the pool and out of panic i guess tried to use me as a floaty! It was one of the scariest moments of my life. I remember it feeling like an eternity and wondering why no one was helping me. After what seemed like forever, I think I blacked out because when i opened my eyes I was outside of the pool. Then, I remember people being mad at me back at the cabin because I yelled at her... she almost killed me! All i said was that if you can't swim... why the heck did you jump into the deep end of the pool and then try to kill the person who tried to help you Anyway, i am obviously fine-lol but that night I realized how short life is. We had a great worship service that night and a great message. That night, I prayed and gave my life to God. I accepted Jesus into my heart and was saved. It was the best night of my life. I was then baptized April 27th, 2003.

Through out the years following that, I went to church camp and church events and prayed all the time. I think it was when i started college that i kind of fell off the bandwagon. I wanted to sleep in on sundays and each sunday that I didn't go, it got a little easier not to go and I didn't have to make up excuses why I couldn't go. I started telling myself that I didn't have to go to church to be a christian and have a relationship with God- which in all fairness is true I guess but Church is such a powerful place that gives you the push and motivation you need to do God's work and to be around people who believe the same things you do, who love God, and encourage you in all that you do. I have had my ups and downs. Eden ( my best friend) has always been there to help me get through anything and everything and has been there to get me back on track. Well last year, Eden started telling me about a new church (Go Church) that she had started going to because her sister had tried it. She said the pastor was hilarious and just such a great speaker. She invited me several times to go and I always found some reason not to go. Well Aaron and I went one time to  sunday morning and I really liked it. The people there were so genuine- when they came up to ask you your name and how you were- they really wanted to know. And it was so nice to hear that they were happy I was there. We came a few more times, with weeks in between. During the summer, we would come on wednesdays to go to service and then play volleyball afterwards. It was always so much fun and I always felt like the message of the service was directed towards me. However, I still felt something wasn't quite there. I honestly do not know when it hit me... I think a couple months ago. Aaron and I had been going every sunday. Every week I listened to the message, and again, felt like It was directed towards me. A lot of people at the church during worship would raise their hands and I never really understood why people did that. I would feel God's presence in the room during worship but always was embarassed to draw any attention to myself so i wasn't going to raise my hands- i didn't want to look silly. One day..  I realized something... it's not about me. It's all about GOD. I realized what i had always known.. that God loved me.. no matter what i had ever done or would ever do- God loved me. He had always been there for me and had gotten me through so many things. I felt an overwhelming wave of emotions come over me. I belong to such an awesome God and why did I sit here and worry about if people think I'm silly if i raise my hands to worship. I remember the first time i did raise my hand-kind of creeping my hand in the air for a little bit.. and then putting it down. One week, I brought a friend of mine to church when aaron was out of town who is very outspoken and does not care what people think about her. A song came on that she knew and she jumped around and clapped her hands, put her arms in the air and praised God. She was excited about God. I think in that moment was when I just got set of fire for God. I jumped around and yelled and put my arms in the air and I have never felt so free and so close to God. I just wanted to be closer to him and feel his presence. Now every sunday, I throw my arm in the air to worship- sometimes both and i just feel like God is reaching out to me. It's in those times that I feel so peaceful. Ever since that sunday, my life has been completely flipped upside down. I started tithing, praying more, and started to change my attitude and how i carried myself. I have grown a lot in the past year and I think Go Church kick started it. Aaron and I became official members last week and I am so excited to be in such a great church family and to grow in my walk with God.

Goodness, I have written a novel! I guess I have a lot to say. I will save more for another post- but a least I got to give an overview of me. I am excited to see where this blog will take me. I am excited to have an avenue to express my feelings about my life and walk with God. Until next time... God bless you :)